Here is a little insight on my story, the dots that lead to where I am today.
I have been sharing with you self-healing resources and advice based on my learnings and experiences along this journey for a little while now. My mission here has always been to share what I learn, so we can all feel like we have the power/support and knowing to self-heal our own little imbalances, whatever those may be to us.
When I look at what I have shared on this website and social media so far, something seems to be missing. The why. The root. Where the drive and the passion that overflows have come from. I think the reason I haven’t been open about it has been because of a couple of reasons, the main one being that I know a lot of people have gone through way worse things in life, so I actually consider myself very lucky for my circumstances and rather embrace the feeling of gratitude than focus my attention on the negative.
However, I do understand that growth comes with pain and if it wasn’t for these incidents in my life, I wouldn’t be who I am today. Since I have decided to share with others my health journey, it only makes sense that I start from the beginning.
So this is my story
I was born in a coastal town of Brazil March 18, 1997. A pisces baby. At the time, my parents had been married for almost 3 years and they were asking the universe for a child. Though there was some complications at birth, my mom and I both turned out ok and I became the first first grandchild of the family.
My early years of life were made up of sandy beaches, dirt roads, work travels with my parents and spending a lot of time with my cousin and grandmas. Specifically my dads mom, I called her : Tete. Every wednesday I’d sleepover at her house. It wasn’t your typical sleepover at 6 year old though. It went more along the lines of ; knitting together until 4 a.m on her balcony, while she held a cigarette by her pointer and middle finger as she told me stories of her past and as we watched all the lights turn off one by one from the buildings in front of us. When the lights were all off we’d spend time talking about life and seeing the last cars drive by the street. Time spent with her was priceless. I loved my whole family but our connection felt like a soul connection, she was my best friend. My defendor when I didn’t get along with my parents and the only one who had fun talking about ghosts and spirits and other things children weren’t “allowed” to talk about.
When I was 8 I moved to Miami, Fl. By this time I had a little brother who was 3. My connection with my grandma was still there. I collected all the cards she’d write and kiss with her bright pink lipstick, we’d Skype and when I’d visit Brazil I would stay in her house most of the time. At the time, we got Yorkie puppy, loupe , at the age of 10 and Miami became by new home–though I still spent summers in Brazil. While I was living in Miami I met my current boyfriend and at the same time Tete developed breast cancer. My parents didn’t want to share the news with me, I was only told the news when she had been ‘cured’ at the age of 14. I was so frustrated and confused. I felt so bad I wasn’t “there” when she needed. She came to spend my 15th birthday in Miami. She told me everything. From the pain to the hair loss. The dark nights. I remember to this day I had a lump on my throat and was left with no words but the feeling of gratitude that she was all better.
3 months later, my dad pulled me aside and told me my grandma had lung cancer. I flew to Brazil to meet her with an oxygen tank and no hair. I remember feeling like I was loosing grasp of her. I never felt so scared to loose someone. December 31st was her birthday. I left January 2nd. A week later we got news she was at the hospital, my dad took the next flight to Brazil with a letter I wrote her and on January 19th my grandma left this world. She was burried with my letter.
I couldn’t eat. I was weak. I took scissors and ran to the bathroom. I wanted to cut my hair. I wanted to give what I could to get her back but I couldn’t. She wasn’t coming back.
This was the first time I questioned life.
Why do we live? Why do we die? Why am I here?
I blamed her illness on her poor diet and smoking. I knew it had to be that. I went through a period of sadness and grief. In May of that year, my Moms dad died of Brain cancer. In a matter of 5 months I had lost 2 loved ones. Cancer became my worst enemy and death my worst fear. I was on a quest to figure out what life was.
One day I stumbled upon this quote “ “People deal too much with the negative, with what is wrong. Why not try and see positive things, to just touch those things and make them bloom?”. This is when it clicked. There are always going to be negative things in life, but it’s how we deal with them that matter. I believed in this so much. I created a non-profit with my boyfriend Felipe, Radiate Happy Living.
We taught kids the importance of eating healthy, I thought this was the best way to prevent future illnesses such as cancer from hurting people and diminishing life quality. We hosted park events, worked with schools and programs for kids with low income, this was when I felt my light shining through. Doing that was so healing for me. I was taking all that pain and suffering and turning it into love, light and life. I became more spiritual those years as well and felt my grandparents close to my heart more than ever. This was my purpose. to Radiate Healthy and Happy living, to help people create a better/healthier life for themselves.
Once high school was ending, Luppe, my puppy, which was now 9, developed brain Cancer. It got so bad, we had to put him to sleep. I wanted to be there for him, so I held him with my dad on his last little moments of life. I miss him, but I’ve never felt him closer. I have worked on feeling comfortable with death and embracing the belief that it only resembles a new beginning, however I have become motivated to share the importance of a healthy life so we can all enjoy our years to the fullest. When I graduated, It was time to leave Miami. Felipe and I moved to Hawaii, where I currently reside to go to school and work with a family business. In Hawaii I have been able to heal, to foster my light and to bring a new energy to Radiate Healthy Living.
Radiate Healthy Living was born from “ “People deal too much with the negative, with what is wrong. Why not try and see positive things, to just touch those things and make them bloom?”. This will always be its foundation. A place where light overflows from a once dark place, where we together embrace our little gaps and scars and let the light shine through them. Where negative feelings become love and with that, healing naturally occurs.
P.S I didn’t mean for my story to be all about death but I think it’s important to highlight that in this lifetime, that was the main theme that has shifted me, awakened me and guided me closer to my purpose and passion. I also want to mention that if anyone is struggling with the concept of death ‘ The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying ‘ is wonderful at making us understand what a beautiful process it actually is.
I hope to keep sharing with you valuable resources, energy/creations and inspiration you can apply you your own authentic health journeys, whether that involves the mind the body or the soul.
Learning & Growing